Amelia’s Page

Dear OXFUMC Friends in Christ,

One of the first things you need to do in any kind of emergency or crisis is to remain calm. I am sure that many of you are aware of this. Remaining calm is sometimes hard to do. But even if we start out calm, we can easily become anxious.

I remember the day I married my husband, Ed. I had worked with the florist-the most expensive part of the wedding ceremony as I recall – to make sure that there were enough corsages for the three mothers (mine, his, and his stepmother), the wedding director (who was a good friend of mine), and the five servers (most of whom were co-workers from SSA). However, when the flowers arrived, we were short two corsages. I lost it (I blame my red hair combined with the stress of the day). I recall yelling at the florist’s daughter who was the person setting up all the flowers and she told me to calm down, that I was overreacting. I was still mad after she said that (telling me to be calm when I’m angry is not productive). Even to this day I feel somewhat justified as I had paid for a certain number of corsages. But also in hindsight I realize that a person can be angry yet still be calm and in control. I let my emotions get the best of me.

Being calm in any kind of upheaval is not easy. It is so much easier to emotionally react as to be still, think things through, then act in order to solve the problem in front of you.  Yet, being calm in any crisis is not only more likely to resolve the immediate difficulty but remaining calm is catching. The more calm one or two people are in response to a situation, the more others will be calm as well.

One of the helpful ways I have found to remain calm is to first take a deep breath – maybe one or more breaths. Prayer is also helpful – even if it is just a simple “God, help me remain calm” or even “God, I need you.” Then begin to problem solve. As I am a natural problem solver (often to my family’s frustration) this is the easy part for me.

The next part after remaining calm and solving the problem is not to get anxious. Anxiety often rears it’s ugly head when it dawns on you what could have really gone wrong in a crisis or what could still go wrong even with the best of plans. You may start out calm but after a period of time you freak out – this can include sweaty palms, accelerated heart rate, over thinking, saying too much or going unusually quiet, gossiping/oversharing, bad dreams – well, I think you get the picture. And that is when we need to go to God.

To reduce our anxiety, more breathing is required, more praying, delving into scripture is helpful, possibly calming music and simply remembering what is really important. Our wedding was a beautiful service (complete with hymns, a sermon, holy communion and four preachers officiating). The florist did come up with one more corsage. Our servers shared their corsages in 15 minute increments. I don’t dwell on this event – I only remembered it when I was thinking about times when I overreacted. And Ed and I have been married for almost 32 years.

And that is what was really important.

Oxford First has been through some challenges lately. It would be easy to lose our calm, succumb to anxiety and worry about all the things that seem to have gone wrong. But what is really important? We need to be focused on loving God and loving our neighbor as ourselves. We aren’t perfect but our hearts are in the right place.

That is what is truly important.

Stay calm and love like Jesus –  Amelia